What call stirs my soul?

by Theresa Nguyen Sisters of the Good Shepherd

Community life shows me a truth: not everyone is easy to live with, yet this is where grace unfolds. As Henri Nouwen said, “Community is a place where the person you least want to live with always lives.” This is not just a challenge—it’s a spiritual invitation to love beyond comfort. It is a journey that requires me to keep trying and to nourish my spiritual life every day, because that is the only way to keep the fire of love burning within me. As St. Mary Euphrasia explains, “Love is the bond that unites us; it is the fire that consumes our hearts for God’s service.” Love leads me, helps me see with God’s eyes, listen to God’s will, and stay open to transformation. 

This novitiate year at ICCN has slowed me down in the best way, holding me in the presence of learning, growing, and nourishing my soul. Through classes and workshops like Interculturality and Trinity and Mission, I have deepened my faith and become more aware of God's presence and love in my life. This awareness draws me to continue connecting and collaborating with others in God's mission within different cultures. Living in a community has been a privilege that has taught me to love others respectfully while staying true to myself. I've practiced handling conflicts effectively with grace, honoring my gifts with humility, and embracing our imperfections. I love Thomas Merton said: “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.” As I learn to love others as they are, I'm also discovering more about my own true self. 

My heart is full of thanks for this pause, a time to look within, understand myself more deeply, and rediscover the desires calling me forward. From my past journaling, I see that the following poetry and reflection images show the seeds planted earlier and now flourishing in my current experience. I recognize God's guidance through my observations and feelings. 

This morning’s walk, a coffee shop near, 

A man cries out loud, ragged, yet, I don’t scare. 

No smell drove me away, 

No judgment clouded my mind, 

Just a quiet whisper to You, asking Your mercy. 

I beg, though my love is just a thread 

Fragile, fading, easy to shed. 

I left him there, unknown, Adrift somewhere. 

I kept walking, 

My mind stayed behind, I am struggle, oh God. 

ICCN, Dec 5, 2024 

This afternoon, a park bench, alone, 

The wind hums softly, 

Quiet and still. 

A whispered prayer floated on the breeze. 

I asked You, why is my heart so small? 

Your silence answers, gentle and deep, 

Calling me to be still, 

Granting me freedom. 

I believe You are here. 

You are what I long to become.

The world’s harshness 

Yet to You, draws me nearer 

In silence, in struggle, 

In the ache of human love. 

Because of You, I surrender all. 

~ ICCN, Nov 10, 2024 

In quiet moments of reflection and rest, my heart recharges and renews. Indeed, “The more we are alone with God, the more we are with one another, in darkness, yet a multitude. And the more we go out to one another in work and activity and communication, according to the will and charity of God, the more we are multiplied in Him, and yet we are in solitude.” - Thomas Merton. In the stillness, God shows me the light and shadows, humbling and strengthening me to return to love for myself and others again and again. In these moments, God pulls me closer to others. Every encounter, even brief ones, reminds me of our shared humanity. They carry the weight of struggles and a call to pray—to see, to reach out, and to love, even in the face of pain. 

Yesterday, Kolbe House, 

Fear cannot hide in his face 

His soul trembles with a future veiled, 

His past a shadow that clings and weighs. 

“God of mercy,” he prays, 

My heart stirs, awake. 

I gave what I can: 

Clean clothes, good shoes, 

a jacket’s warmth. 

I listen, I sat with him there, 

His presence gave me mercy 

His children, my age, drift through my thoughts, 

I pray they’ll love and seek him once more. 

I left him, God, to your tender embrace. 

~ ICCN, Apr 2, 2025 

Every Wednesday, as I walk into the Kolbe House Jail Ministry outreach center , I feel my heart tested for mercy. I carry their stories, their suffering and struggles in my heart. I’m invited to step into discomfort, into places of pain and complex truths, and to reflect on my commitment to justice and compassion. Yet, I believe the face of Christ in those I meet—wounded and waiting. It makes me braver, more willing to be God’s hands in this hurting world, not just out of duty, but out of love. 

Mary’s lowliness echoes my own, 

Not frail, but fierce in love’s pure tone. 

In humble steps, shaped by unseen light. 

I see Your face in the cry, 

In struggles met, in silence high. 

Grateful, I rise, Your whisper near, 

A love that holds through doubt and fear, 

A chorus swells, my kin, my call 

Your stirring soul alive in all.