Habemus Papam AKA Holding Joy and Grief

by Jamie Caporizo, Dominican Sisters of Adrian

When I awoke the morning of April 21, I thought the texts I was seeing were incorrect.

Condolences came from a few friends about Pope Francis’ passing on Easter Monday. I had just seen him on TV the day before- surely this was an error! As I was gaining consciousness and able to coherently check the news, news of the pontiff’s death was online. And all I could do was weep. I cried for such a loss for our Church and our world. I cried because he was a Pope, a man, of so many firsts for our world. I cried because this great man, who gave me so much hope for the future of our Church, was now gone. And all that seemed to remain was nothing hopeful.

I couldn’t decide what to do that morning, so I texted the novices asking if anyone

wanted to go to the chapel to pray. I found as many photos of Francis as I could around the house and I placed them on the altar with some candles. A makeshift memorial. Sr. Karina joined me for prayer. A seismic shift in our Church and our world needed, to me, to be memorialized in prayer with someone else.

I couldn’t figure out how to channel my grief at losing Pope Francis. I’ve been

attempting some musical composition this year and so I decided I would write small pieces of music, mostly mantras, commemorating memorable quotes of the late Pope. I decided upon twelve pieces of music- 1 for every year of Francis’ pontificate from encyclicals, homilies, Angelus greetings, all found on social media. As I wrote them, I found myself feeling happy and energized. As I wrote the melodies, I found myself appreciating the 12 years Pope Francis unwaveringly stuck to the Gospel of Jesus Christ for his apostolic teaching. Central to his pontificate was the mission of Jesus to encounter those on the margins of society. Maybe we didn’t like everything he did or didn’t do, but I don’t think I could ever doubt the integrity with which Francis tried to guide the Church and keep us close to the Gospel.

Some of my mantras made their debut on May 6 th , the night before the Conclave began. I was asked by friends at the Franciscan Federation to help create a virtual prayer service for the Conclave. So many Franciscan friends from around the country were present and I was humbled and excited to see my music used for public prayer and contemplation.

Once the conclave begun the ICCN had been watching the chimney of the Sistine

Chapel religiously (pun intended). On May 8 th , after three appearances of black smoke, I figured that Thursday would be no different, so I went about my day. I was in the car when the ICCN group chat went crazy with notifications of white smoke! I had to stop the car and turn on the AP News live coverage of the event while I made my way to my destination.

When I saw Pope Leo XIV emerge on the balcony and the banner on screen said he

was a Cardinal from the United States, I was absolutely shocked. Never, in my lifetime, did I think we would have a Pope from the USA! What’s more, this man, Robert Francis Prevost, OSA, is an Augustinian who studied at Catholic Theological Union here in Hyde Park! We live just down the street from the Augustinian theologate and CTU!

I held my breath as Pope Leo XIV greeted the world:

“God loves us, all of us, evil will not prevail. We are all in the hands of God. Without

fear, united, hand in hand with God and among ourselves, we will go forward. We are disciples of Christ, Christ goes before us, and the world needs His light. Humanity

needs Him like a bridge to reach God and His love. You help us to build bridges with

dialogue and encounter so we can all be one people always in peace”. (8 May 2025,

Pope Leo XIV)

When I listened to these words, I knew what I was witnessing: a miracle. Not only in the election of this man from Chicago, IL, but the way in which he speaks of Church, the people of God and our relationship to God.

I still miss Pope Francis immensely, but I am filled with joy and renewed hope in Pope

Leo’s opening message. We will go forward. Christ as our bridge (Dominicans know this reference well) can help us keep connected to God, but also to one another, in a time when our world and the United States of America needs it most. Thank you, Pope Francis, for the gifts you gave our Church- you showed us we are all interconnected. Thank you, Pope Leo XIV, for helping me feel more connected and hopeful to our global Church. Thank you, God, for these pontiffs. May we walk forward in love and hope.